How
Important is Sex to relationships?. This is a question that experts and
Psychologist are being asked every day. well is not surprising that
people want to know how important is sex really to us, from health to
Relationships, to Marriages and even just for the fun of it.When I was
writing my syndicated advice column on sex and
relationships on a local Article magazine at least once a week I was
asked “How important is sex in a relationship”? The volunteers at San
Francisco Sex Infor
mation (http://sfsi.org/) tells us this is one of their most frequent questions as well.
so
why are people so interested to know how important is sex to them? If
you immediately answered “very” I bet I can guess your age.
Actually,
that was unfair. Of course there are more young people who will give
that answer than older people, but beyond a very broad generalization
like that there are many variations. The answer to this will be
particular to the individual and will vary according to age, current
sexual satisfaction or deprivation, and life particulars at the time the
question is posed. One quip I’ve heard on the topic is that sex is like
air: “not very important unless you are deprived of it; then it’s
crucial!”
So, how important is sex to a relationship? It
absolutely depends on its importance to each of the people having the
relationship. More couples than you would guess who appear happy to
their friends and relations (and perhaps even are) are in sexless
relationships. A sexless relationship is commonly defined as one wherein
sex happens less than 10 times a year. That factoid will be interpreted
by some people as two people are ”supposed to”“ have sex more than
that, no matter their preferences or circumstances.
One of the
ambiguities here is my oft-stated truth that sex does not equal penis in
vagina intercourse. Is a couple “having sex” if they engage in some
other form of intercourse, such as oral or anal? What if they are having
some other form of sex such as rubbing against one another, any part
against any part, which is pleasurable and can result in orgasm to
either or both? Isn’t that sex too?, Perhaps the question might be
recast as how important is orgasm or even how important is pleasurable
and intimate touch?
I think often what is being asked when the
“how important is sex” question is posed is “how often should my
partner and I have sex in order to be considered normal?” What also
might be behind this question is another worry such as “I’m afraid I
can’t perform according to expectations so can I still have a
relationship?” or “my partner is complaining about how often we have sex
or what kind of sex we have so who is right here?”
Since this
common question can mask many other concerns I usually respond “How
important is sex to you?” If the person asking is coupled I also ask
“Does your partner agree?” Generally not, or the question would not have
arisen. Once a year or once a day, if whatever is happening between
them is sufficient sex, there is no problem. Asking for outside
validation is irrelevant.
So while the answer is often
frustrating to the one who poses it (as sex itself, maybe), the
definitive answer to the question of how important is sex to a
relationship has to be “it depends”. But in My own Analysis I think sex
is Essential to a relationship, to Marriage and sometimes to even people
that is having sex just for fun, the major problem is that in a
contemporary African society sex before marriage is highly forbidden .so
growing up in such a society how important is sex? for Relationships,
to marriages or even to people who are depressed in one way or the
other? my dear readers sex is good for you and as the general mentality
goes Sex is vital in a Relationship as much as Love,and care. In
marriage it is even more essential because it helps to keep either
parties focused on each other especially good sex. so finally i can
strongly recommend sex to people in a relationship and in Marriage.
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